No Need for Time Travel

I’ve always been fascinated with time travel. 
I thought it was because of the intrigue of all of the impossibilities. 
But as I grow older, 
I realize that I long for just one opportunity to take back the time that I lost when I was frozen by fear. 
I have no regrets in this life,
but some days I dream of starting over. 
I wonder who I could have been 
if I did not care so much.
I wonder the impact that I could have had if I spoke the Truth with more conviction. 
Instead, I wasted years lurking in the wrong places, following after the wrong people, and filling my mind with the wrong ideas. 
And even now, I cannot take the step of faith. 
I do not know why I wish for a machine to take me back when this version of myself is a coward too. 
I am plagued by delusions when I tell people that I have changed.
I have found new audiences to perform for, but I remain on stage, twisting around in every direction. 
Still, none of them lead me down the narrow path. 
So at the end of every night, I return home. 
I lay in bed, and He whispers in my ear, “I have freed you. Why do you stay in chains?”
The tears pour out before I can stop them. 
He died so that I might live, and yet I refuse to live for Him. 
So I throw off my shackles, and I inch forward slowly. 
It is scared, shaky, and not close to a step, but I know He smiles down on me. 
I cannot go back in time to change my past, but I do not need to. 
He already redeemed it. 
And every tiny move with Him brings me more joy than a thousand dances for anyone else.